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I love some New Rules….

New Rule: Go away! If John McCain and Sarah Palin want to keep appearing on television, they must sing or do magic tricks. If we wanted to keep seeing you, we would have voted for you New Rule: Kevin Federline had better just be fat, because if he’s pregnant with eight babies, I’m not going to pay for it. And while we’re at it, could we please stop imagining that black is slimming. It’s a color, not a miracle worker. You don’t look skinny. You look like night grew a head. New Rule: On the next season of “The Apprentice,” Donald Trump has to fire himself. His casinos are bankrupt. The only industry in the world where people give you money in exchange for nothing and he blew it. Seriously, Choctaw Indians can make this work. New Rule: My local GM dealer has to stop telling me to rush into his showroom today. I don’t think you’re in a position to order me around, GM dealer. Try groveling. Because the only way you’re going to put me in a Buick Lacrosse today is to drug me and throw me in the trunk. New Rule: Not every single fruit needs to be a vodka flavor. New Rule: Liberals only get one bumper sticker per vehicle. Some days, I feel like I’m stuck in traffic behind the Huffington Post. Here’s what I’ve learned while driving behind you: you are very concerned about global warming, and you’re burning oil. Ironically.